I never knew
I never knew that biostats would help me to
To find the best fit model from my data's cues
But which to choose when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
And Stata's doing nothing but confusing me
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The model with the smallest AIC
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left on the exam
I'm out of time
I'm out of time
At any rate
I wish you were a z-score I could calculate
A sample size, that's easy, answer's one-oh-eight
But these GLM's I always get them wrong
Now we're adding more
Complexity, variables of more than four
And even interaction terms adjusting for
Gender, age, and height as we figure out the means
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left on the exam
I'm out of time
I'm out of time
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left on the exam
I'm out of time
I'm out of time
And suddenly it's become part
of your past
Stuff from third term just won't last
I'm losing it and it's effortless
Without a trace we begin to replace
In the final days
Never thought I'd have to find a job
But can't find a job till the capstone is done
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left on the exam
I'm out of time
I'm out of time
Everyone knows
I'm out of time
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my...
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left on the exam
I'm out of time
I'm out of time
Based on "Over My Head (Cable
Car)" by the Fray.
Lyrics by Catherine Chen
Vocals by Steven Chen
Regression and Biostatistics 622/623
This report describes the unusual finding of sudden behavioral regression in a population of students with history of exposure to a certain Biostatistics 622 course. Behavioral regression is defined as the defense mechanism which causes a person to adopt child-like behavior when subjected to stressful situations. Subjects were seen getting irritable and tantrums were observed over the smallest of issues. Some subjects were spotted assuming the fetal position in bed. A significant number reported having monsters in their closet with names like Pearson, Bonferroni and McNemar. Fortunately, no cases of bed-wetting have been reported yet but the experts say that this would not have been the case had the next term started without a break again.
Based on this observation, the author has decided to conduct a multiple logistic regression analysis on the data collected in the third term with "PRESENCE OF REGRESSION" as the outcome variable (Y= 1 if subject regressed & 0 otherwise) and "EXPOSURE TO BIOSTATISTICS 623" (X1 = 1 if exposed & 0 otherwise) and "TOTAL TERM CREDITS" (X2 = 1 if < 16 & 0 if > 16) as the two covariates. An ANCOVA will be run to see if the relationship between "presence of regression" and "exposure to biostatistics 623" changes with change in the variable "Total term credits".
PS: The
author has miraculously escaped the symptoms in spite of the
exposure.
The only thing regressing is his sense of humor.
Here's
looking forward to the third term!!
Cheers!!!
By Shrirang Gadrey
Last edited: 25 February, 2009